The Great Time Travel Adventure of the Dirty Pair
by Henthorne
Summary: Kei and Yuri, better known the universe over as the Dirty Pair, are on vacation when Kei spots Monica. The chase is on and devastation follows our heroines, but someone has a plan to get rid of the Lovely Angels forever, and the Oni are in on it. Part of the Mars, Inc story. For even more Mars, Inc back-story read "Time To Travel - Ataru's Chance at Freedom".
1. Chapter 1

**We're leaving already? A Girl's Lucky Spot is Pool Side**

Kei's back was killing her. She lay on a hotel lounge chair poolside, dressed only a two-piece swimsuit, sipping a tall glass of something vividly pink and moderately intoxicating and attempting to forget her crushing workload. One brace in the chair cut across her spine turning the chair into a vinyl-coated torture device. Unable to enjoy herself she opened her eyes to watch her partner, Yuri, flirt with a man half again as old as she was. Like Kei, Yuri wore only a swimsuit although the pert brunet's choice was just a hint less revealing. Kei rolled her shoulders to relieve the pressure on her spine. Yuri and the man walked towards her. Kei shut her eyes and pretended to be asleep.

"...and you can pick me up at eight," Yuri told the man.

"What about your partner there?" he asked. Kei was sure she could hear the sleaziness in his voice.

"Kei?" squeaked Yuri. Now Kei was just as sure her partner's squick-level was maxed. "I'm sure she is very busy."

Kei opened her eyes. She sat up and looked the dirty old man in his eyes with a bright and sexy smile. "Where are we going?"

Yuri glowered at the redhead.

"Ted is taking me to a disco tonight Kei. Don't you have all those apologies to write?"

Kei glowered at her partner. "I'm sure it can wait a little longer."

Yuri turned back to the man. "I'm on vacation," she purred. "Kei here is on administrative leave until she apologizes - in writing - to five hundred people for dropping a ship on their spaceport."

Ted's smile faded as he looked at Kei once more. He looked at Yuri and took a step backwards moving him to the edge of the pool.

"Kei? Yuri? That streak of white hair. The bikinis. You're - you're the D-Dirty Pair."

He leaned away, falling back into the water, but instead of climbing out Ted swam away fully clothed.

"That's Lovely Angels, pal!" shouted Kei.

"Jerk!" shouted Yuri.

"You said it," agreed Kei.

"No. You Kei. You're a jerk. You ruined my date - again."

Kei snorted. "I saved you from an old pervert. You should thank me. Go after a real man and this won't happen."

"AARRRGGGHHH! Get rid of that stupid white streak in your hair," Yuri shouted, "and we'd be able to blend in."

She glared at Kei who only lay back down on her chair.

"What am I saying? Just stay away from me. I'm the one on vacation. You're on administrative leave."

Kei froze. She stared at Yuri with tears welling in her eyes.

"You really mean that?" she aksed.

"Yes!"

"You really don't like my hair?"

Yuri shook in mute rage, fist balled at her side.

"Get lost, Kei!" she yelled.

Kei stood. She glared at her partner, then walked to the other side of the pool stood looking out over the city. By this time the man was out of the water. He jogged away from the patio, dripping puddles as he went and not caring what happened. Ted entered the hotel. In a minute screams of 'Dirty Pair!' and "We're all gonna die' could be heard from inside. Yuri covered her face in her hand.

Kei stood at the edge of the pool patio. A short wall was all that divided her from the city beyond. It was midday. The sun was high and the streets white with the hot tropical light. A short woman in a pink dress and a wide-brimmed white hat walked down the street. She was opposite Kei and close to the beige brick wall of an upscale store. An oversized beach bag hung on her shoulder. The woman stopped and looked over at the pool. She saw Kei and reached into the bag. Her hand reappeared holding a small box with a large, red button on the top. The woman checked her watch, then pressed the button. Immediately a building three blocks away exploded. Kei dropped to her knees and in that moment she recognized the woman.

"What happened?" shouted Yuri.

"Monica," Kei shouted back.

"Can't be. She's in prison," answered Yuri.

Kei vaulted the low wall and ran after the woman who had taken off down the street away from the hotel. Her hat floated away as she ran.

"Guess again. Let's go," she shouted and took off.

"But I'm on vacation," Yuri cried.

Kei didn't hear. She was already too far away. Yuri sagged. She turned to listen to the growing panic in the hotel, to the shouts of 'Dirty pair', 'Get them out of here' and 'We're all gonna die'.

"But I was on vacation," she moaned again and took off after her partner.

Up ahead Kei charged after Monica. Monica was fast and Kei was determined but all Yuri felt was tired. She fell further and further behind until finally she stopped.

'Screw this,' she thought, then something flying around a landing shape caught her eye. It was the control pod for a WOGL. Yuri smiled.

What is a WOGL you ask? A WOGL (Warehouse On Gravity Lifters) is pretty much exactly what it says on the package and probably the best example of the wisdom behind the new galactic law prohibiting engineers and bankers from drinking together. To say the WOGL was large was missing the entire point of the enterprise, which was to move as much as possible as far as possible and avoid all those pesky loading and unloading fees. It was a structure of girders and rivets, created with a thought process which did not encompass the words 'can't' or 'shouldn't' or the phrase 'maybe we should wait until we sober up'. You could say it was so many football fields long (12) or wide (5) or so many fields high (2) but those would be only cold statistics. The truth is that the WOGL wasn't just a big thing; a WOGL was what big aspires to be when it grows up and stops playing with football fields.

Yuri tracked the WOGL as it descend into it's prepared void and watched it's control pod hover and land just a few dozen yards away. Wisely (if anything about the design of the WOGL can be described as wise) the pilot house of the WOGL was a red and white striped pod which floated around the ship like a pilot fish around a small, square moon. Yuri made her way to the pod now. She tapped the transparent bubble over the pilot, then fished a plastic card from her bikini top. She held the card up for the pilot to read. The pilot looked at the card. He turned and punched a string of characters into the console, the read the information on his screen and ... froze. Slowly, the pilot turned back to Yuri. His eyes grew large. His hands trembled. He shook his head.

"Yes. I need your pod," insisted Yuri.

He shook his head forcefully.

"The 3WA needs the pod."

"But the Dirty Pair..." he said.

"Lovely Angels!" Yuri corrected him. "I need your pod."

He raised the pod cover and stood up.

"The decouple is tricky," he told Yuri. "You gotta make sure the interlock disconnects before the flight controls engage or the primary field will lift the superstructure and then..."

"Yeah yeah yeah. Be careful. Got it." Yuri pushed the man out of the way.

She sat down and sealed the bubble over herself, then she grabbed the joystick and the pod lifted.

"Watch the gyros for a delay and set it down if the horizon don't lock," shouted the pilot, but it was too late. Yuri couldn't hear a thing he said. She searched the controls and found a blue switch that read "WOGL Interconnect" with "ON" and "OFF" and flicked that off.

"That was simple," she said and lifted into the air.

Behind the pod the WOGL stirred. The pilot looked on with awe, then turned and ran as fast as he could.

Monica looked behind her down the street. She saw Yuri in the pod coming fast and leaped into the first hovercar that passed. The boy behind the wheel swerved in surprise. Monica brought the car under control in time for Kei to leap onto the back and snag the rear seat in her grasp. Monica slid into the driver's seat, forcing the boy out of the floater, and the car sped away once more.

Kei pulled herself into the back seat hand over hand. Monica sped up and Kei landed head-first in the cushioned upholstery. She righted herself and looked back. The WOGL pod zipped down the street a story above the pavement while the floater wove between traffic leaving a wake of honking horns, screaming proximity sensors and howling drivers.

"Stop," shouted Kei. "Stop right now." She reached forward and tried to grab the wheel from Monica's hands.

"If I stop now we're both dead." shouted Monica.

"Because you're such a deadly assassin?" Kei snorted.

"Because your dumb-ass partner is driving the biggest thing this side of space."

Kei looked back. She saw Yuri racing towards them in the pod, then noticed most of the city

remained fixed behind her like a badly drawn anime chase scene.

"Christ! She's got a WOGL pod. Go! Go, or we're gonna die!"

"Now you know how the rest of the universe feels," shouted Monica.

The floater sped up but traffic kept it from escaping the pod. Kei looked back to see the WOGL picking up speed, neatly clipping off every building over three stories like God's own lawnmower. In front, flying the WOGL pod and glaring like a maniac, was Yuri. At that moment Kei could not be certain her partner was attacking Monica or herself; Yuri's glare covered everything. The front of the pod tipped down.

"Oh crap. She gonna bounce the sucker," shouted Kei.

The pod descended like a beach ball from Hell, falling squarely on the back of the floater, tipping the nose up. Kei threw herself down on the floor. She heard Monica scream as the girl dodged the metal hull.

"She's insane," shouted Monica.

The pod lifted long enough for Kei to poke her head up and see the WOGL mimic Yuri's actions in a sort of unstoppable slow motion reserved for nightmares. The mass dropped, obliterating twenty square blocks of the city below it. The WOGL did not stop. Its mass kept it going, sanding another fifteen blocks away before Yuri's bouncing flight bright it up from the planet's surface. Sheer terrified panic, or what Kei now assumed to be the base-state of anyone around the Lovely Angels, stopped the city traffic cold. Monica took the opportunity to lift the floater up above the mass of vehicles and speed away from Yuri, the pod and the on-coming WOGL.

"How do we get away from it?" asked Monica.

"I hate to say it, but let her get it up to flight speed, then make a sharp turn. The field should fail when Yuri comes after us."

"What about the WOGL?" asked the assassin. "The city will be flattened."

"You kill people for a living," answered Kei. "Figure it out."

They sped off, faster and faster, hemmed in along the road by the tall buildings of the business district but pulling ahead of the pod and the devastation of the low-flying mass of destruction behind it. The buildings began to thin as Monica approached a wide boulevard leading off to the spaceport.

"Turn here," shouted Kei.

Monica turned the wheel hard and the floater banked around to head onto the wide street. Kei watched behind them a the Pod came around to follow them and then the WOGL began passing by. As predicted the unbelievable bulk slid past and kept on passing minute after minute. Both Kei and Monica winced at the rending of the city but Monica kept driving. Ahead the utilitarian towers and hangers of the local spaceport sat in peace, the occupants still mostly unaware of the chaos in the city. On the straight away and without interference Yuri and the pod caught up. Kei grabbed the wheel from Monica and pulled the floater to the curb as the pod dropped one last time. The bubble flipped open and Yuri jumped out.

"Kei," she shouted. "Why didn't you stop her? We could have had her a while ago. What's that noise?"

Kei climbed out to the pavement but Monica remained in the floater, silent and facing away from the brunette. Slowly Yuri turned to look where the Assassin's eyes locked. All three girls watched the final section of the WOGL, now scraping hard against the floor of the city, shudder by. When the back end finally slid past like the tail of a glacier, Kei and Monica both turned to stare at Yuri. Yuri turned to look at them. Her eyes were huge and watery.

"That... I didn't...," she stammered. "That's not my, my. You can't think..."

Kei continued to stare. Monica covered her face with a single hand and shook her head.

"Yuri. All those people..." gasped Kei.

Monica slid her hand down just enough to show her eyes. She looked at Kei without moving her head, then back at Yuri.

"This wasn't m-m-my fault," said Yuri. "You did j-j-just as b-bad."

"When?" asked Kei.

"The-the-the spaceport. On World's World? R-remember?"

"Yuri, don't." Kei shook her head but now her own eyes were wide.

While this was going on, Monica quietly started the floater.

"And, and, and that g-girl's school? A-a-and when we were being ch-chased by that guy in the mecha, and you blew up the whole building?"

Monica revved the engine on the floater. Kei and Yuri both looked at her.

"Just so you know," she said, "When the city heard you two would be around, they ordered the place evacuated."

"What?" asked both Angels.

"Yep. Hardly anyone there."

With that the floater lifted off and away towards the spaceport.

Kei growled at Yuri and Yuri growled back.

"Later!" they both yelled and raced to the WOGL pod. Yuri took the seat and Kei crammed in beside her.

"Get out," shouted Yuri. "The bubble can't close."

"Just get her," shouted Kei.

Yuri pushed Kei's arm out of the way and grabbed the joystick. The pod rose and shot forward fast enough to rip the bubble from the top. Kei gripped her side of the pod chair hard enough to poke holes through the fabric. Monica did not follow a straight line, but it seemed to Kei almost as if the assassin knew where she was going. Then Kei saw the ship and she knew as well.

The ship wasn't a very strange shape as spaceships go. It was roughly wedge-shaped with fins, sort of like a shark. It was only moderately sized for something designed to travel between planets. The WOGL could have held two, but anything on a planet next to a WOGL suffers by comparison. The number of guns and antenna bristling across every surface were a little disconcerting, but Kei chalked it up to paranoia on behalf of the designer and let it go. No, there was only one truly weird thing about this spaceship, and, as Kei knew all too well, weird space was always super-weird.

"Head for the tiger-striped ship," shouted Kei. "That's where she'll go."

"How do you know?" demanded Yuri. "Really, Kei."

"Just drive there."

Monica drove in a huge arc across the field, swerving between the smaller freight and pleasure crafts. Yuri, at Kei's elbow-driven insistence, steered a direct course for the ship. Even so, Monica arrived first. She leaped from the craft and ran up a ramp to an open entry port. A guard in a tiger-stripe overall stopped her, then looked up at the approaching pod and stepped aside. Monica entered.

Yuri pulled the joystick up hard, banking the pod around the front of the ship and dropping it back to the concrete with a loud, metallic ping. Kei bounced from the pod and rushed the titanic tiger-suited guard but he only stepped in front of the open door, his bulk effectively blocking her way.

"3WA, pal," she shouted. "Move!"

The guard tapped an earpiece and spouted an incomprehensible mix of what sounded to Kei to be a Chinese take-out menu and French language instructions. Yuri came up beside Kei and the guard stepped forward and grabbed an arm of each girl. In response, both Yuri and Kei kicked out, but the huge guard simply held the girls up at arms length, too far away from his body for their feet to make contact. Both girls made half-hearted attempts to escape, then gave up and glared at each other.

"Your fault," said Yuri.

"Yeah yeah," grumbled Kei.

The guard carried the girls inside the ship, back down into a space with two huge steel doors set into a riveted metal wall.

Another guard in a tiger-striped jumpsuit stood against the wall. He opened one of the doors and the first guard lightly tossed first Kei and then Yuri into the space so that Yuri landed on Kei and pushed her over into a corner of the room. By the time either of them scrambled to their feet the door clanged shut. Kei pounded on the door.

"Let us out!" she shouted. "We're 3WA. you can't do this to us."

Yuri sat down on a steel shelf, one of two which made up the only furniture in the room.

"Give it up, Kei." she patted the shelf. "Hey, this thing is heated," she said and lay back on the hard metal. "Not bad for a prison."

"They have to let us out," said Kei. "We have to get Monica. She's dangerous. She's and escaped..." Kei yawned, "prisoner."

Yuri yawned too, and rolled over on the shelf. "This thing is really..." *yawn* "comfortable."

Kei found her eyes closing by themselves and jerked her chin up from her chest once and then again.

"I think..." *yawn* "we're being gassed," she said and leaned against a wall. From there Kei slid down to the floor. She was out before her bottom touched the metal.

"... you're prob'ly right," agreed Yuri.

A loud snore came from Yuri and another from Kei.


	2. Chapter 2

**Lions and Tigers Attack! Cheesecake is the bonus prize.**

Kei's back was killing her. The steel decking of the floor forced her shoulder blades flat and pressed the skin into her spine. She pulled herself up to her feet and, bracing her hand against the steel walls, walked to a shelf to sit down. Yuri lay on her shelf snoring gently in a way Kei had grown accustomed to on stake-outs, under cover operations, and morning-after sleep-ins. Kei's bikini bottom started to ride up and she adjusted it accordingly, then reached out a dainty foot to jiggle Yuri's shoulder.

The brunette stirred gently, rolled over and looked at Kei. Her left boob hung out of her bikini top. Kei nodded towards it and Yuri made a groggy check of her clothes. She stuffed herself back in without comment and sat up.

"What time is it?" she asked.

Kei shrugged. "Don't know. I woke up on the floor and my ass was asleep, so it must be over twenty minutes."

"Oh yeah," said Yuri. She knew Kei's stake-out hobbies were eating different junk foods and timing how long it took body parts to go numb on different surfaces. "Finally came in handy."

Kei nodded. "Told you it would."

"Do you think they're gonna let us out?" asked Yuri.

"Let's start with who 'they' are."

"You mean the tiger guys? What's up with that?"

"Some kinda of military , I guess. Sort of weird, though."

Yuri nodded. "Super weird. Did you notice the horns?"

"Good," Kei sighed in relief. "I thought I dreamed that."

"So these guys belong to some sort of organization where they all wear uniforms," said Yuri.

"And they look like goats," added Kei.

"And they caught Monica?"

"Don't you think she's working for them?" asked Kei. "She walked right in."

"So Monica is working for these guys and she lead us to them."

Kei nodded. "Sounds about right. So back to the sixty-five million credit question; who are they and why are we here?"

"Because one of us can't just leave shit alone," growled Yuri.

Kei glared at her partner. "Let's just figure out how to get out, then you can bitch."

"I told you I was going to ask for another partner and I mean it. This is stupid. The cops could have handled this."

"Hold on," said Kei.

"No! You ruined my vacation. You ruined my date. You probably got me fired for that stupid WOGL thing and now I'm locked in..."

"Shut up!" shouted Kei. "Something isn't right here."

"You mean us being locked up in a cell?"

"No. Monica lured us here, right?"

Yuri thought for a second. "Yeah. And?"

"What was she doing on the street across from our hotel?"

"MY hotel. You're freeloading in my room."

"Knock it off. Why was Monica across from the hotel?"

"You think she knew we'd follow her'"

"Probably. Who knew we were there? Who'd you tell?"

"Poporo. That's about it. You?"

"No one."

Kei gasped. "You're AWOL?"

Kei rolled her eyes.

"The Central Computer booked my flight. You?"

"Same."

The girls sat looking at at the floor for a moment. Finally Kei spoke up.

"Poporo."

Yuri nodded.

"Why?"

"He hates us? When Gooley retired Poporo was a chief. He got us instead."

"We saved his daughter. We saved him."

Yuri shrugged. "Maybe he's nuts. War vet and all."

Kei sighed. "Okay, Poporo frees a known assassin from prison somehow..."

"Because a TroCon Chief can do that," said Yuri, "not."

"Probably not. Then he hires a mercenary army with their own ship? Wow, where'd he get the money?"

"Pretty thin, huh."

"Transparent," agreed Kei. "Besides he spends all his extra time with his wife."

"We need to get out of here. Want to do what we did on Rura Penthe?"

"I'm game if you are." Kei went to knock on the door, then sat back down.

The pair waited. Yuri fidgeted but Kei remained still. After a long while Yur turned to Kei.

"How long?"

"About forty minutes." Kei shifted position.

The door hissed open. Another alien guard the size of bull stood in the door. He didn't move. Kei looked at Yuri who only shrugged. Kei stood and walked to the guard, careful to use the low-cut bikini to her advantage. She stood before the behemoth with her fingers entwined loosely atop her gently curving ass and her breasts thrust out like two sweet gravity defying scoops of flesh* offered up on a platter.

"Hi there," she said.

The guard looked down without moving his head. If he was impressed it did not extend to his facial muscles.

Kei waggled her shoulders. "I was wondering if there was any way..."

Yuri's kick landed square between the guard's legs, and if he were an alien, their anatomy was strikingly similar to a human's. He went down to his knees, grabbing his crotch, and Yuri finished him off with an elbow to the back of his head. She snatched the guard's pistol, then grabbed a shocked Kei and ran out of the room.

"What the hell was that?" asked Kei as they took off.

"Rura Penthe, remember?"

Kei shook her head. "You and I have very different memories of Rura Penthe." **

Unlike aboard the Lovely Angels, the hallways of the alien ship were constructed on a grand scale and the pair were able to run side by side. When a guard poked his head around a corner Yuri fired off a shot which left a smoking crater in the corridor wall. The guard ducked back. A siren sounded moments later and the guard ducked back out to return fire. The wall above Yuri's head blistered and smoked. The guard fired again and the pair ducked into a doorway.

They were in the ship's kitchen surrounded by dozens of the hulking aliens, all still wearing tiger striped overalls and all engaged in making food. Kei and Yuri ran in and took cover behind a long bank of steel shelves. Work stopped around them and the aliens glared down. One spouted the same type of gibberish the guard spoke. Yuri looked up at him. A wide and real smile broke out across her face and she assumed a pose similar to the one Kei used back in the cell.

"Hello there yourself," she said and giggled.

Kei glanced over at her partner, caught her in mid-flirt and looked up at the guard.

"Holy crap!" she said. "He's gorgeous!"

"I saw him first," Yuri whispered to Kei.

"He's an alien, Yuri."

"So? If they all looked like this I'd volunteer to stay here."

She looked up into the intense blue eyes of the alien hunk, sighed and pointed to her own well developed body.

"Yuri" she told the cook.

The alien looked puzzled, which only made Yuri sigh. Then a look of slow comprehension crossed his features. He pointed to her chest, burying a finger between her nearly naked breasts, and said 'Yuri'.

Yuri looked down at his finger in her chest and gulped, then looked back into his eyes and nodded in a way that Kei felt might mean far more than simple agreement.

The finger swung back to his own chest and the alien said 'Rei'.

"Rei," said Yuri dreamily.

Kei tapped the lovestruck brunette on her shoulder.

"Kei to Yuri?"

Yuri turned back.

"Huh?"

"We are about to be captured by aliens - again. Could you find a date later?"

The guard appeared in the kitchen door. Kei fired at him, missing and sending the big alien - and the entire cook staff - diving to the floor. More guards appeared and more shots fired, this time at Kei and Yuri. Kei returned fire to keep the guards off-target but even so she began to notice a pattern. Shots fired by the guards invariably hit hanging pans, knives, bowl and other utensils but never came close to the pair.

*Pew* *Pew*

"Yuri, I don't think they're firing to hit us."

*Zap!* *Pew* *Pew*

"What do you mean?"

"*Pew* *Pew* *Zap!* *Pew*

"They've hit everything around us."

*Zap!**Zap!**Pew* *Pew*

"They bad shots. Keep firing."

*Pew* *Pew**Pew* *Pew**ZAP!* Ping clatterclatter.

"No! I mean they've hit everything they've aimed at. They're just not aiming at us."

Yuri stood up, exposing herself to the fire of the pistols. Guards popped into the doorway one after another and fired. As Kei guessed every shot went wide as if a field surrounded the TroCons. Kei yank her down by her hand.

"They're pinning us down," said Yuri.

"Thought so. What do you want to do?"

Yuri looked longingly at the alien named Rei. Kei yanked her arm once more.

"All right," Yuri grumbled. "Create a diversion. Blow something up."

Off to one side a bowl of something rotated beneath a device. A laser fired into the bowl as it turned sending out clouds of steam. Kei fired at the device and sparks shot out but the laser continued unabated. Now a whine began, low and soft but climbing both in pitch and volume as the seconds ticked by.

"What the hell is that?" asked Yuri.

"A diversion?" offered Kei.

All of the cooks scrambled to the door, pushing the guards out of the way and leaving the pair alone in the room. Despite Yuri clinging to Rei's arm he escaped with the rest. Immediately a siren sounded and heavy blast-proof shields slid down over the doorways. The whine continued to increase. Acrid smoke curled from the device and sparks shot in all directions.

"What the hell did you do that for?" asked Yuri.

"You wanted a diversion. It isn't my fault."

"You moron! Find a door out of here."

The pair split up and searched each shielded door and then made a sweep of all the walls meeting back at the center.

"I got nothing," said Yuri.

"Man! For a kitchen this place is pretty well armored."

The whine continued getting louder and higher making both girls cringe.

"I don't think this is going to turn out so good," said Yuri.

"You think that thing is gonna blow?"

"I think the aliens think it will, and it's their... whatever it is."

Kei searched the room. "Get into a refrigerator," she told Yuri and headed towards a steel-skinned cabinet against one wall.

"That never works," said Yuri.

"Are you kidding? These things can survive nuclear bombs."

Both girls emptied the contents from a cooler, throwing out shelves and the food that lay on them. Kei stopped when she found a round pale-golden cake. She swiped a finger through the top and tasted it, then placed the cake gently on a steel table and continued her destruction. When both sides of the cooler were empty she snatched up the cake and climbed inside. Yuri, who was just closing her own door, looked down at the confection.

"Is that cheesecake?"

Kei nodded and closed her door.

Yuri could be heard saying "You can share, you know? You took my last piece," just before the kitchen detonated in a hellish fireball rivaling the explosion of a small spaceship. For the pair the world went black.

* Paraphrased from _The Sure Thing. _Apologies to Rob Reiner, Steven L. Bloom and Jonathan Roberts.

** Paraphrased from _The Avengers. _No apologies offered.


	3. Chapter 3

**We're in big trouble! No one said steel was cruel**

Kei's back was killing her. With her arms secured behind her back her forearms cut across her lower spine in just the wrong way so as to dig into her muscles. The steel shelf she lay on felt cold and gave her no relief. She rolled off, landing on the floor with a thud. Yuri sat on another shlf with her hands bound behind her back as well. The brunette pointedly did not look at Kei.

"That went well," Kei said.

Yuri snorted but offered no other suggestions. Kei struggled back to her feet and sat back down on her shelf.

"They didn't kill us," said Kei. "That's odd."

Yuri snorted again and turned so that she faced away from her partner.

"What are you mad at me for?" asked Kei.

"I'm still on vacation, Kei. I'm still locked up and I still don't know why, and on top of that I didn't get any of the cheesecake."

"Look, I promise that from now on when I get cheesecake I'll share it with you, okay?"

The door hissed open. A guard in a tiger-striped jumpsuit entered. This time he had his pistol drawn and aimed at Yuri. Behind him entered Monica, still in her pink dress, but clean and fresh. She smiled at Kei and then at Yuri.

"I have to hand it to you both," she said. "You've done something to the Oni that few others in history have done; you disrupted their plans."

"The Oni?" asked Yuri.

Monica nodded towards the guard. "These guys. Big fighters from another universe."

Yuri snorted. "Figures you'd get mercenaries to fight for you."

Monica laughed. "Oh, they're not mercenaries, old woman. These guys are the biggest, baddest warriors in three universes. It's a good thing you were just fighting them. If you were playing tag we probably wouldn't be having this talk."

"That makes no sense at all," said Kei.

Monica shrugged. "Cultural thing. Anyway, I think you two should probably know what's going on here, before you blow up the laundry or something."

She tossed a small wooden square to Kei. The square bounced off her shoulder and landed on the floor.

"This is the button she used to blow up the building," Kei said. "I think it's made of wood."

"Give grandma a prize.I don't know anything about explosions or buildings, ladies. The only destruction I saw today was caused by you two."

"Don't lie to us," said Yuri. "You stood across the street from my hotel and pushed that button."

"I was given this button by a 3WA operative in prison along with a pardon. They gave me directions. I was to stand outside your hotel at a set time and push that thing. It's not a button, it's just a piece of wood. I am pardoned."

"What about the bomb?"

"Like I said, I don't know anything about it. The city was mostly abandoned and I heard an explosion behind me but I figured it was some big 3WA plan. End of story."

"But why?" asked Kei. "Why do this? Why are these...these Oni guys holding us?"

"The 3WA Central Computer did all this. I was told it figured out that you two will be responsible for something big in the future and it thought the best way to avoid that was to get you out of the universe. That's where these guys come in."

There was a silence. Yuri swallowed. It was loud enough to hear throughout the cell.

"You mean," she said, "These Oni guys are taking us out of the universe?"

Monica nodded. A smile crossed her face. "Ladies, it's been interesting knowing you. Since I won't ever see you again - and neither will anyone else - I'd like to tell you on the behalf of the universe that we will all sleep better knowing the Dirty Pair are gone. Oh and Kei, one word of personal advice: get rid of the white streak."

Monica turned and left followed by the Oni guard.

"That's Lovely Angels, bitch!" Kei shouted, but only after the door had closed.

"No. No. No. No. No," said Yuri. "No, this isn't happening. I'm still dreaming."

Kei snorted. "Well, if you can wake up that would be great 'cause this is starting to freak me out."

"We're being erased," said Yuri. "The CC is wiping us out."

"At least we're still alive." Kei laughed, but the laughter was a little forced.

"Shut up! Just shut up. I'm being erased because of you. This is all your fault."

"My fault? How could I know the CC would..."

"If we weren't partners. If you weren't on probation all the time. You and your stupid Lady Flare bullshit. Guns and fighting and, and all that crap!" Yuri stopped. She panted now with the effort of her rant. Her eyes darted back and forth as she chased an idea around her brain.

"Wait! You were the one who chased Monica," she said. "The CC knew you'd do it. This is all to get you out of here and I get screwed along with you."

"How do you know you aren't the one who does whatever it is that the CC thinks is so bad?" asked Kei. "How do you know it isn't me who's getting screwed because of you?"

Yuri stood up. She walked to the door and started banging her shoulder against the steel.

"Let me out! Let me out!" she screamed. "You just want Kei. Take her."

"You bitch!" shouted Kei. "That's it. We're done."

Yuri turned to Kei. "You stupid bitch!" she shouted. "There's no 'us' anymore. Even if there's a 3WA where we're going they won't know who we are. No one will know who we are. There's no more Lovely Angels. There's no more Kei and no more Yuri. We're through."

The door hissed open again. An Oni guard stepped through. Yuri moved out of the way but remained standing.

"Thank God," she said. "You can let me go. She's the one you want. Just take her. The Central Computer..."

"Sit down, please," the guard cut her off. "You should know we'll be leaving in a few minutes. Inter-universe travel is very disturbing for humans and you'll want to remain seated through the trip."

The guard left and the door closed behind him. Yuri remained where she stood.

"All that work," she said. "All that training. The 3WA and my career. My - my life. Oh God, my parents. Who will tell them?"

Kei stared down at her own feet. For a moment neither girl said anything. The vibration of a giant engine thrummed through the steel decking. A siren sounded and an announcement in the Oni language was made over the intercom.

"You should sit down," Kei told her.

"No."

"Yuri, sit down. This could get bad."

"No!"

"Yuri! You could get hurt."

Yuri turned to look at Kei. Her brown eyes fixed on Kei's green ones. Kei saw pure hatred and anger there - worse than she had ever seen even in the most desperate criminal.

"What do I care if it hurts?" asked Yuri. "I'm as good as dead and it's all your fault."

The engines whined and the universe went white. For a second it felt to Kei as if she were being pulled apart and at the same time pushed into a ball. She smelled the noise of the engine and tasted the white light. The hard steel of the shelf sounded green and she knew somehow she was vomiting but she couldn't tell. Her brain stopped processing sensations and the world went dark.


	4. Chapter 4

**Vacations are Over-rated. Travel is a R-r-russian Roulette.**

Kei's back was killing her. She lay on a soft mattress wrapped in clean blue sheets beneath a warm, if too thin, cotton blanket. Despite all of the relative comfort a spasm of pain shot up from her lower back to her shoulder. When she opened her eyes an Oni doctor stood over her. The doctor wore a blue jacket and had what was probably the Oni equivalent of the stethoscope around his neck. He said something in the Oni language to another Oni who must have been her guard and the guard stepped forward and spoke.

"Are you feeling better now?"

Kei tried to speak but between her brain and her lips the words changed to garbled nonsense. She tried again and managed a short 'yeah'. The doctor smiled with a mouthful of teeth borrowed from a shark and Kei blinked a few times to make sure she saw what she thought she saw.

"Parmpht." mumbled Kei. She tried again. "Par. t. nr."

The doctor looked to the guard who squinted at Kei for a moment, then nodded his head.

"She's out in the hallway."

"She. K?"

"She's fine."

The doctor spoke some gibberish and the guard nodded. He turned to Kei once more.

"You should lay back."

Kei sat up and the room spun. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, and then another. When she opened her eyes again the room was still.

"Nee' see Yur'," she slurred and swung her legs off the table.

The guard grabbed her arm and she yanked it away. It was at that moment Kei realized she was naked. With as much grace as she could manage the redhead snatched up the blanket to wrap around her exposed breasts and stepped to the floor. This resulted in her falling sideways off the bed and landing in a heap on the steel decking.

"Owww," she moaned. The guard reached down to help her up. She glared up at him (which resulted in a squinty grimace) and said "Clothes."

"Really miss," said the guard. "You should get back to bed."

"Cloth-es-S!" repeated Kei.

The guard shook his head and vanished from Kei's sight. She took the opportunity to climb up from the floor, carefully wrapping the the blanket around her as she did. The guard returned holding the two parts of her bikini, neatly folded, in one huge outstretched palm.

"Here you are, miss. We washed them. You threw up."

"I need real clothes," she told him.

"This is what you arrived in. We are a warship on our way to the front. We don't have spare outfits for pretty young girls."

Kei thought the guard leered a little at her. She did a better job glaring at him this time, then snatched the swim suit from his hand. He stood watching Kei until she waved him away and he simply turned around. Kei sighed and struggled into the swimsuit. After two tries she managed to get the garments on the right way around and by that time she felt much more stable. Kei walked across the room, confident that her path was relatively straight, and opened the door. Yuri stood outside. Like Kei she wore only her swimsuit but unlike her partner Yuri looked composed. Kei also thought the brunette looked angry.

"You're all right," said Kei.

Yuri only glared at her partner and looked away.

"I was afraid that you still blamed me for this crap," said Kei. "I'm glad you came around."

The guard followed Kei from the infirmary. "If you two ladies will follow me I can get you off the ship." He walked along the hallway and Yuri fell in behind him. Kei followed her partner. They did not pass many Oni in the hallway but those they did looked ready to pull Kei apart.

"I know we blew up your kitchen," Kei said, "But why is everyone so pissed at us?"

"First, we're on rations until we get the mess rebuilt. Second, we're losing our best pilot along with you two."

"That's not our fault, is it?" asked Kei.

"Between you and me I happen to know some big wig in this universe wanted the pilot, but the captain isn't about to tell the crew he takes orders from a human, no matter how important he is. He told everyone it's your fault."

"But it's not our fault!" protested Kei.

"Yeah, but you're leaving and we're bound for another universe and a war. The captain is blaming you."

They came to a hatch in the bulkhead and the guard stood to one side. He waved Kei and Yuri past and they walked through and down a gangway to into a hanger the size of a small city.

As they left the gangway it retracted into the ship and the guard pulled the hatch closed. Two technicians in dusty-red overalls lead the pair away. The tiger striped ship levitated. It hung in the air three meters from the concrete deck, then floated away down a pathway of pulsating lights leading to an exit. Kei turned to the tech next to her.

"Where are we?"

The tech pointed to the spaceship and swoop logo over his heart.

"Mars Incorporated."

"Mars? But that dump has been off-limits since..."

Yuri stepped up and covered Kei's mouth with her hand, cutting off the rest of her words. She smiled at the tech and waited until her left to remove her hand.

"What the heck?" Kei asked when her lips were free.

"Shut up, dummy. This is Mars. Look at the ships."

Kei looked around.

"What is this, a museum? I haven't seen crap like this since flight training."

"Did you learn anything in school? Those are ships from when Mars was still, you know."

"Not a smoking pile of radioactive waste?" Kei offered.

"Okay. Sure. Do you remember a Mars Incorporated from history class?"

Kei shrugged. "I don't remember much from history class - except the instructor."

"There wasn't one, stupid. I think those Oni guys brought us to an alternate universe, back in time."

"Okay, but how do we contact the 3WA and get off this rock?"

"Will you listen for a second. We are back in time, in an alternate universe. I don't think there is a way out."

"What about the Oni guys?"

Kei whistled and waved a red-suited technician over.

"Mars guy," she said.

"Brian."

"Okay, Brian. How do I get a hold of the Oni?"

"Why would you want to do that?"

"Let's just say I wanted to get a tiger-striped jumpsuit. Who would I speak with?"

"I don't know. I know they showed up about twenty years ago on Earth, and they show up every once in awhile around here, but I don't think anyone calls them. Mr. Moroboshi might."

Kei looked at Yuri, trying to find out who Moroboshi was. Yuri just shook her head.

"Is Moroboshi a big wig?" asked Kei.

"The biggest. He owns Mars Inc. He invented the power cube."

Yuri shrugged again.

Kei continued. "And he talks to the Oni?"

"He played tag with one - twice - back on Earth and won both times. Never been done before. The Oni love him."

"Where do we find this Moroboshi?"

"Mr. Moroboshi?" asked the Tech. "You don't. There's no way. You could get an appointment but his secretary..." Brian stepped back and gave Kei a very careful inspection. "Why do you want to speak with the Oni?"

Kei smiled at the hapless man. "No reason. Just curious." She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, then gave him a pouty look. "Do you know where Mr. Moroboshi lives?"

The tech shook his head. Kei ran her finger around his ear.

"Where would a girl get a drink on this planet?"

"Kei!" shouted Yuri. "That's enough."

"What? We need to get a hold of the Oni to get off here and that means we need to talk to someone who knows this Moroboshi guy. I need some food and a drink. How about you?"

"And just how are we going to pay for this?" demanded Yuri.

Kei stood up tall. She spread her arms wide and stuck her ass out while at the same time thrusting her chest forward. She looked down at her body, as did the tech and nearly every other male within viewing distance.

"Are you kidding me?" she asked Yuri.


	5. Chapter 5

**The Return of the Dirty Pair. Adventure and Drinks Don't Mix.**

Kei's back was killing her. Something pushed into it right across her shoulder blades, pressing down through the muscle right against the bone. Eyes still tightly shut, she rolled to one side and pulled out a long stick tapering down from one end to a narrow point at the other. She opened her eyes and examined the torture device. It was a pool cue.

Kei lay on her back on a pool table in a bar. Around the narrow, dark room, wait-staff cleaned up. A boy in a yellow shirt and pants placed glasses in a tub, then wiped the table clean. With a throbbing skull and unsteady arms Kei used the cue to tap the boy on the head, a move that served to knock him and his tub of glasses to the floor with a crash and tinkle of broken glass.

Across the room a woman stood up. "Hey!" she shouted at Kei, then marched to the table, grabbed the cue and yanked it from Kei's unresisting grasp. Kei pulled herself up to her elbows and looked at her through blurry eyes.

"Time to go, bimbo," the woman told her and handed her a piece of cloth.

Kei took the cloth and examined it, then looked down at her naked breasts. Her eyes went wide and her hands flashed up to cover herself.

"Little late. Half the guys on Mars have seen those. You threw quite the party. Now it's time to pay up and get out."

Kei lay back down on the table. "The 3WA will cover it," she mumbled.

"Nuh-uh," said the woman. "No such thing. Your friend over there had us check twice."

She pointed across the bar and Kei sat up on her elbows once more to see. At a table across the room sat Yuri with a red cloth wrapped around her body. Kei squinted to make sure, but she thought Yuri might just be naked underneath her makeshift wrap. She thought hard now, trying to remember the blur of activity in the past eight hours.

"There was a guy," she suggested. "He offered to pay for our drinks?"

The woman nodded. "Yep. You are correct. There was a guy."

"There you go," said Kei. "Get him. Come on Yuri, let's go."

Yuri only buried her face in her hands. The woman smiled.

"He was here already. He agreed he'd pay for five rounds."

"Whoa," whispered Kei.

"... but not for the rounds you bought for the house."

"House?" asked the redhead.

"... or the seventeen shots of lunar whiskey, the bottle of 200-year-old tequila or the snifter of real French Revolution-era Armagnac."

"How... how many rounds did we buy for the house?" Kei asked.

The bartender's smile widened. "Sixteen," she said.

"Yuri?" said Kei.

"Your fault," answered her partner from behind her hands. "All your fault."

"The two of you racked up the largest bar tab in the history of off-world colonies."

"Do I want to know how big it is?" asked Kei.

"Let's just say that even if I didn't charge interest on this bill - and I will charge you interest - that it is quite likely that this bar tab of yours may constitute the re-institution of slavery right here on the red planet, and it was all your doing."

"You could have stopped us," said Kei. "You could have cut us off."

The woman laughed. "Everyone was having such a good time."

The redhead sighed. She knew she was defeated. "What do you want us to do, 'cause there's stuff we won't do."

The woman smiled. "That's the problem. Everyone really did have a good time last night and you two," she looked over at Yuri, "you two really do know how to throw a party."

"What do you mean?" asked Yuri.

"I mean that, even with your unbelievable bar tab, and taking into account all of the drinks you two gave away, that if you can do this again, just one more time, I'll break even."

Kei looked back at Yuri who looked puzzled.

"Do you mean if we get ripped and have a party again...?" she asked.

"No no no," said the woman. "What I mean is that I know talent when I see it. I get a lot of troops through here and with the UEF sending ships to defend against the Jovians I'll get a lot more. If you two could act as, lets call you 'entertainment hostesses', four or five times a week, then I might reduced your tab."

"By how much?" asked Yuri.

"Mmmm. How about ten percent?"

"Eighty percent," countered Kei.

"Twenty?"

"Seventy-five."

"Forty. That's as much as I'll go."

"Sixty and you can kiss my ass."

"Fifty," shouted Yuri, "and the two of you shut the fuck up."

"Fine," said the woman. "You start tomorrow night." She held out her hand for Kei to shake. "Names Shasti. Shasti Flare." the woman turned away. "You might like to know that you have a nickname already. Last night the patrons were chanting it as you danced."

"I'm afraid to ask," said Yuri.

"Apparently you two are now the Dirty Pair."

Yuri groaned. Kei shook her head.

"This is all your fault Kei," shouted Yuri. He voice was shrill and high and Kei recognized the beginning tones of hysteria in it. "All your fault. none of this would have happened if it wasn't for you!"

Yuri continued screaming and shouting but Kei ignored her.

"Incidentally," Kei asked the woman, "What's the name of the bar?"

"The Lovely Angels," Shasti answered.

Yuri continued her tantrum in the background. Kei winced.

"Don't tell Yuri just yet, okay?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Working is for the Birds. Flying the coup is the plan.**

Kei's back was killing her. Eight hours in high heels, letting United Earth Defense Force space marines do shots off her breasts, butt and belly button, dancing with anyone with two legs and schlepping trays of Dirty Pair Party-Sized Drinks (tm) took its toll on the redhead. She swatted away an ass-grab from a blond female Mars Inc technician, but turned to smile back playfully at the table full of female sailors she sat with. The bar was full to standing room with young men and women in UEF uniforms all drinking, harassing the wait-staff. and waiting impatiently for the entertainment to arrive.

"I heard they spotted a Tulip out in the asteroids heading this way," said one drunken sailor.

"Damned Jovians gonna blow us all to hell," said his table-mate.

"The UEF will blow the lizards to hell," countered a sailor. "We got enough fire-power in orbit to glass the planet."

"I heard the big brass upstairs are recruiting for some secret hush-hush project."

Kei leaned closer to listen in on this. It was more information than she had heard in a month of waiting tables.

"You mean that new ship? I heard it's launched but they're not telling anyone."

"Nergal beat 'em to the punch. They have theirs on Earth."

Kei set down the drinks with a big smile and a wink at the last one. She stood and made her way back to the bar where she looked for Yuri. As usual she flirted with a table full of sailors while subtly up-selling their drinks to the DP Party-Size. Kei caught her eye, then tapped her wrist as a signal that they were due to perform. Yuri rolled her eyes but came to the bar. Together the bikini-clad beauties climbed onto the bar-top and stood with their hands on their arcing hips.

"This is for all the UEF marines protecting Mars from the Jovians," announced Kei.

"A big Merci Beaucoup to you all," added Yuri.

Music started and together the pair swung their hips around and wide circles, then dropped down to shake the tits at the cheering crowd with Kei taking one half of the room and Yuri the other. For the next five minutes the Lovely Angels hosted the hottest dance routine allowed without a stip-club license and the audience answered with cat-calls, wolf-whistles and loving shouts for more.

When the music stopped the girls took a bow.

"Enjoy the rest of the night at the Lovely Angels!" shouted Yuri.

"And Tip! Your! Waitresses!" added Kei.

They jumped off the bar and ran at a bouncy trot to the back room for a break . When they stood together in the cramped storage room-cum-break area Yuri snarled at Kei.

"This is humiliating!" she shouted. "It's bad enough we have to do that stupid routine but if I have to tell people to enjoy the Lovely Angels again I'm gonna shoot someone."

"Calm down. No one knows it's us. Just think of it as undercover work."

Yuri's glare intensified. "You like this shit, don't you?"

"No. Of course not."

"Admit it, Kei. You couldn't wait to do this kind of thing. It was your idea that first night and you came up with the fucking dance routine. You want to do this."

"Okay. Yeah, I like letting go and being the bad girl."

"When our bar tab is paid off I am out of here. You can be the Dirty Pair all by yourself. You've completely ruined my life."

"I may have a way to get us out of here."

Yuri looked shocked for a second. "You mean you found Moroboshi? We can talk to the Oni?"

"Not exactly, but I found a way to get to him. They're recruiting for the Nadesico."

Yuri slumped. "Kei, it'll be almost eight months before anyone hears about that ship."

"Yeah, but we're shoe-ins, and if this Moroboshi guy is as important as he sounds he's got to be the one behind it. We get on board and we're as good as home, plus we get to fly on the Nadesico."

Yuri shook her head. "No. I meant it Kei. I'm done following you around. Once we're out of here we're done."

"But the Nadesico. Yuri, you can't pass this up. It's fate."

"You go play with fate. I'm going to Earth and staying there."

"But this is the Jovian war. Even I know how this goes. I even know the little twist."

"Promise me you won't tell anyone!" said Yuri, then she sighed. "This is what I mean. You're a walking disaster just waiting to happen. We'll talk to the recruiters for Nergal and get on the Nadesico and then when we get to Earth you and I will go AWOL and hide out until this war is over. But when we get to Earth we split up. The only time I want to hear from you is if you meet the Oni."

"We're partners, Yuri. You can't break us up."

"We were partners because the 3WA made us partners. That's over. We're over."

"Fine," said Kei.

"Fine," said Yuri. "Shifts over in an hour. We get cleaned up and go to the recruiters."

Yuri plastered a too-bright smile on her face, threw back her shoulders and twinkled her eyes. She pushed open the door back into the bar and bounce-stepped back out. The crowd erupted in fresh applause, calls and whistles. Kei sat down on a box of cheap sake and chewed on a thumbnail. After a minute a half-smile appeared on her face and she stood up. Kei lifted her breasts, adjusting herself and her bikini for the best effect. Like Yuri, Kei put a sparkle in her eyes and a wide smile on her face before she pushed open the door to the bar and greeted the cheering patrons with a wave.

Three hours later Kei sat on a folding chair in the waiting room of the Mars Incorporated recruiting office. With her sat twenty-two other grim-faced men and women seeking a position. Yuri sat somewhere beyond the expanse of strangers and like Kei she wore a lethally boring dress shirt and slacks outfit with her hair pulled back into a professional style. As Kei sat in the room waiting to be called, she was sure she could feel the clothes slowly killing her soul.

People coughed, read ancient magazines and fiddled with their tiny communicators. Kei stared straight ahead at a poster stuck to a wall. It showed an evil-looking Jovian lizard head, suspended in space, reaching a clawed hand out to grab Mars and, Kei supposed, rend to shreds. Beneath the artwork appeared the words 'Protect Mars' and a line imploring brave men and women to join the Mars Incorporated forces and help the UEF defend the planet. One thought rolled endlessly through Kei's bored-to-concrete brain: 'Wow, are they in for a surprise'.

A door opened as it had ten times since the pair arrived. A man exited holding a tablet computer. His neatly parted hair and wire-rimmed glasses, along with the red bow-tie and yellow suspenders, made him look a little like a cross between a business school graduate and a clown.

"Numbers 721 and 722?" the man called.

Kei stood. She looked around to see Yuri stand as well. Her partner ignored her and walked to the man. Kei followed. The man looked at them both as they approached, checked his tablet and smiled.

"Oh! The Dirty Pair," he exclaimed.

"That's..." Yuri started to correct the man but Kei grabbed her arm to stop her.

"That's us," Kei finished with a grin.

Whispers circulated through the room and one girl gave a shrill whistle. Kei turned and smiled at the crowd then followed Yuri through the door. The business-clown closed the door behind them and went to sit down. He sat behind a large steel desk that looked as if it might have been made two hundred years prior. Kei and Yuri sat in comfortable padded chairs. The man read his tablet again, then set it down on the desktop, steepled his fingers and smiled at the pair.

"I'm afraid we're not hiring entertainment just now," he told them. "And all the kitchen positions are taken."

Kei noticed the tablet lay precisely aligned to the edge of the desk, and the desk sat at a spot she was sure would be an exact number of centimeters across the new, brown carpet and from each clean, unmarked blinding-white wall. She smiled.

"Mr?" she asked.

"Nakotomi," he said. "Akimitsui Nakatomi."

"Mr. Nakatomi. I'll level with you. Yuri and I are pilots. We know all about the Aestivalis and the Nadesico."

His forehead furrowed. The man looked at Kei and then at Yuri.

"I don't follow you," he told them.

"Confidentially we're from the future," added Kei.

Now his lips pursed.

"Kei, you're scaring the man," said Yuri.

"You think you're from the future?"

Kei nodded. Her smile grew wider. She was enjoying the man's discomfort.

"Yes and we know all about your secret ship and the Jovians."

"Kei! Stop it," said Yuri.

"Obviously you two have confused us with the Nergal corporation."

He tapped his tablet and sat far back in his desk chair. "May I ask how you arrived here?" asked the man.

"The Oni brought us," answered Kei.

There was a knock on the door.

"Nakatomi San. Do you need help?" asked a deep voice from behind another door.

Akimitsui looked again at Kei and then at Yuri.

"No. No I don't. Sorry," he told the person.

"I'll stay outside if you need me."

"Thank you," answered Nakatomi san.

"You know about the Oni?" he asked Kei.

"They brought us here from our universe," Yuri told him. "Do you know how to contact them?"

"No. No I don't. All I know is that they are busy with a war right now. They brought you here from another universe?"

"Probably a parallel one, from the future," answered Yuri.

"Ahhh. Yes, we know they have time travel. This explains some things."

He made a note on the tablet and smiled at the girls.

"For your information we are not building the Nadesico. That is the Nergal corporation. If what you say is true we might have pilot positions open for you the both of you."

"Off-planet?" Kei asked.

"Far off the planet, if you are amenable to hierarchy."

Kei looked at Yuri who rolled her eyes. "Yes we can follow orders," answered Yuri.

"Then the transport leaves Thursday at seven am Mars time from the east freight port. Accommodations will be limited both in availability and room so be on time and pack light." He rose and extended a hand. Kei shook it and then Yuri.

"There is one more thing," Yuri said.

"What?" answered the man.

"We have a tinsy tab at the," Yuri swallowed here as if forcing herself to say the name of the bar "Lovely Angels that may need to be settled before we leave."

The man smiled in a way that made Kei's skin crawl.

"The infamous Party Night. I'm sure we can work something out with Ms. Flare."

"Thanks," said Yuri.

The pair hustled out through the second door, passing not a man but a woman who stood six feet seven inches tall and looked like she could match an Oni head to head. Kei smiled at her and hurried past.

"See? That was a snap," she told Yuri.

"I don't know. I've got a really bad feeling about this," said Yuri.

"Lighten up, girl. Let's go celebrate!"

Yuri stepped back. She did not smile and her eyes did not meet Kei's. For the first time ever Kei realized the dowdy clothes and strict hairstyle fit Yuri better than a 3WA uniform.

"We have five days until we leave," Yuri told Kei. "From now until then you and I are sharing the apartment but I don't want anything to do with you. All I ask is that you don't get in any more trouble and you show up to the ship on time. Other than that just leave me alone."

Yuri turned and walked away. Kei followed her partner with her eyes until Yuri was out of sight.

"Whatever," mumbled Kei and she walked away.

This story will be continued in _Mars, Inc._


End file.
